nevver:

• El que no agarra consejo, no llega a viejo.
  He who doesn’t take advice doesn’t reach old age.
• El que quiera saber sus defectos, que se case y el que quiera saber sus cualidades, que se muera.
  One who wants to know his defects should marry; one who wants to know his qualities should die.
• Fajarse los pantalones arriba de la cintura.
  Buckle your pants over your waist. (Learn how to do without in case of a necessity.)
• Las canas no quitan ganas.
  Gray hair does not weaken your desires. (Just because you are old and gray does not mean you can not be active; you are as old as you feel.)

The Lost Dichos

• Some hair sticks to the soap, some goes down the drain.
  (Wait until it’s dry, and wear rubber gloves.)
• The White House is on Pennsylvania Avenue.
  (Pennsylvania is not really that boring.)
• Run in heels, lose a toenail.
  (All feet are ugly, don’t stare at them.)
• Camouflage clothing is cheap and durable.
  (Men like to play games with guns.)
• Prius drivers never change lanes.
  (Avoid hungry buddhists in the bulk aisle.)
• Day-glo is not a color, it’s a way of life.
  (Better to think like everyone else than to go insane.)

Itchy Banquet